Inner Child Healing Meditation - Rachel Devine
Inner-child healing is essential to living a life filled with happiness and contentment. Most of us do not realize the impact the inner child has on us. We are preprogrammed emotionally in early childhood, and this carries over to our adult lives. If you have constant issues in life with family, friends, or work, Or if you have a really bad temper or have fears. Perhaps you have trouble losing weight or finding a soulmate who is compatible. All of these issues stem from the inner child. However, don’t despair; with a little knowledge and some inner child healing techniques, you can heal the inner child.
Inner-child healing is essential to living a life filled with happiness and contentment. Most of us do not realize the impact the inner child has on us. We are preprogrammed emotionally in early childhood, and this carries over to our adult lives. If you have constant issues in life with family, friends, or work, Or if you have a really bad temper or have fears. Perhaps you have trouble losing weight or finding a soulmate who is compatible. All of these issues stem from the inner child. However, don’t despair; with a little knowledge and some inner child healing techniques, you can heal the inner child.
Subconscious mind example
Our subconscious mind is in control of 95% of our lives. Since we were born, the subconscious mind has been fed different information in the form of feelings. The inner child is part of the subconscious. It’s a scary notion to realize our lives are pretty much dictated by our past fears, angers, traumas, and experiences. The way to clear some of this out of our subconscious and replace it with positive feelings is through meditation. Meditation is a way to resonate with feelings that will get penetrated by the subconscious, thus helping us change the course of our lives!
Inner child healing meditation
John Bradshaw was a pioneer in the inner-child world. He wrote an inner child book called Homecoming that was very successful in the 1990s. He boldly suggests we peer into our childhood home and connect with that inner child.
In my book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within: Healing Your Inner Child to Manifest Your Dreams, I guide you into a meditation for healing the inner child since this is one surefire way to heal the inner child.
My inner child book excerpt: Inner child healing meditation
So, let’s start the process of going back to our childhood. We are going to do this in a more defined way. At this point, I ask you to please keep an open mind. You see, the problem is in the mind; therefore, the solution is also in the mind, and we will be tapping into the subconscious mind, which is where the imprint of your personality has been created.
We are going to imagine going back to our childhood home and seeing our child. Once you determine the feelings of pain, hurt, fear, or perhaps all of these, it is time to go back to that time in your life. Sit with your eyes closed and remember that time in your life when something happened and you needed support. Try to remember a time in your life that you felt particularity alone, hurt, or unloved, perhaps shamed, ridiculed, or a feeling of alienation or abuse. It’s okay if you don’t remember a negative time in your life as a child. You can just go back to a calm time too. Go back to that time and see everything you can. Can you remember the smells or sensations of cold or hot? Look at the colors, and try to put yourself in that space and time. Look at the furniture in the room and the light peering in from the window. Perhaps you are in your backyard and see flowers and swings. Try to remember everything about your childhood home. See your inner child and imagine what he or she is wearing. What does your child look like? See every aspect of your inner child. Take your time with this.
I suggest you close your eyes and imagine yourself as an adult approaching your little child and comforting him or her as a parent would. Tell your child all the things you need to hear to feel comforted and loved. Imagine yourself as an adult sitting with your child and actually parenting the child with love and feelings of safety and concern. Hug your child if you like. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Do it in a way that is comfortable for you and, at the same time, comforting and loving for the child. Really concentrate on the feelings of love.
When you have made that connection with your child and nurture and love your inner child, something will change in your subconscious mind to a positive feeling. If you were fearful at the time as a child, that fear will be offset by love, which is a stronger emotion. Or if the feeling was one of shame, that will also decrease in your subconscious mind as an adult. If it is a feeling of not being loved, loving your child will make you feel more loved as an adult and enable you to not be so needy when it comes to relationships. It could also help one curb their addiction because you are filling the hole in the soul or that void from not getting your childhood needs met with your own self-love.
End of the excerpt.
The key in this meditation is to resonate with the feelings and try to overcome negative feelings with positive feelings of love, comfort, security, courage, self-esteem, etc.
Our inner child is yearning for love, comfort, and support. Recognizing this aspect of yourself and nurturing your inner child with daily words of affirmation, meditations, and visuals, you will begin healing the inner child. The more the inner child heals, the more healing our adult selves will feel, and our relationships with family, friends, and work will improve.
Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Inner Child Healing to Manifest your Dreams - Get your copy on Amazon or you can get an instant ebook download.
For more information on inner child healing, please visit my website, Devine Intervention-Inner Healing Center.
Wake-up the Sleeping Giant: To Heal the Wounded Inner Child - Rachel Devine
Make no mistake about it; the inner child is alive and well and dwells in each one of us. This sleeping giant is powerful, and some would rather let it sleep. However, letting the sleeping giant lie dormant can cause intermittent havoc in one’s life. It can cause fear when you want to exit a relationship. Or uncontrollable anger towards a loved one. And it can cause rage during car incidents and, in some severe cases, cause people to be violent. It will rear its ugly head in times of stress, trouble, grief, and anxiety. The way to arrest these unexpected tantrums of the wounded inner child is to understand them and tame them.
Carl Jung advocated that it was this inside part of all of us that influenced all we do and the decisions that we make. Inner children were a part of us when we were kids that never grew up. They are who hold all the memories and emotions, good or bad, that we experienced.
Let’s look at some inner child healing techniques and ways to reparent yourself.
Make no mistake about it; the inner child is alive and well and dwells in each one of us. This sleeping giant is powerful, and some would rather let it sleep. However, letting the sleeping giant lie dormant can cause intermittent havoc in one’s life. It can cause fear when you want to exit a relationship. Or uncontrollable anger towards a loved one. And it can cause rage during car incidents and, in some severe cases, cause people to be violent. It will rear its ugly head in times of stress, trouble, grief, and anxiety. The way to arrest these unexpected tantrums of the wounded inner child is to understand them and tame them.
Carl Jung advocated that it was this inside part of all of us that influenced all we do and the decisions that we make. Inner children were a part of us when we were kids that never grew up. They are who hold all the memories and emotions, good or bad, that we experienced.
Let’s look at some inner child healing techniques and ways to reparent yourself.
Awareness of the wounded inner child
The wounded inner child is part of your subconscious mind, and both, in unison, direct your life 95% of the time. When you get up each day and have breakfast, check your emails, brush your teeth, and get ready for work, this is all orchestrated by this dual force. You don’t think about it; it’s an automatic response to your daily routine. Well, 95% of your decisions are made with your subconscious/inner child mind. The question is, what are the inner contents that are driving your life? Are they good contents or bad ones, or a little bit of both?
My inner child is screaming
The first step is to look for patterns in your life that erupt unexpectedly and are screaming for your attention. Are you reactive during arguments? Do you get enraged during car incidents, like when someone cuts you off? Are you violent toward people in times of stress? Are you filled with fear at the idea of dating? Do you have addictions? These are just some clues as to your wounded inner child screaming for help. What is inside you will erupt during stressful times, so these are clues for you to look for so you have awareness of what is bubbling up inside. You want to have this awareness to stop it from continuing.
Self-love
Believe it or not, some of the anger and even fears stem from the fact that most of us did not get our fundamental needs met as children, and we hide the repressed anger deep within us from those times. Additionally, carrying around deep resentments from years of anger can also be what is within. Self-love is one of the keys to filling that inner void that was not filled in childhood. Let’s face it, we are all humans, especially our parents, who did the best they could under the circumstances of their lives. However, the outcome is usually that an adult will have some sort of issue that came out of childhood. Look in the mirror daily and say, “I love you.” Even if you don’t mean it, this exercise will change your inner emotions around to more love.
Inner child meditation
Another form of inner-child healing is meditation. Sit in a quiet room and imagine yourself as a child. Picture what you look like, what you are wearing, and what room in your childhood home you are in. Just picture everything you can. Then, in the meditation, you will approach your inner child as an adult parent and sit with your child. Give your child words of encouragement, perhaps a hug, and reassurance that you are there for them and will always love and support them. Be as loving as you can in this meditation. There is no right or wrong way to do this, or time-frame, just go with your instincts. The more you do this meditation the more inner child healing you will receive.
Affirmations
Affirmations act as a way of penetrating the subconscious, so you put positive words and feelings in there to offset the negative ones from the past. You can say things like, I am here for you, I will support you, I am loved, I am confident, I am worthy, I am beautiful, etc. You can write these affirmations out on sticky notes and post them where you can see them daily as a reminder to say them out loud.
Wake-up call
It’s okay to wake up the inner giant so you can heal. Inner child healing is necessary to eradicate our weaknesses that hold us back in life. Too many of us have anger issues or bitterness from the past, that we want to get rid of. The key to inner healing is through awareness and inner child work. Remember what lies dormant is just waiting to erupt, like a pandora’s box of horrors. You really want to tame that inner child. It will be worth the effort when you start to see your life transform before your very eyes.
Rachel Devine is the author of her new inner child book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within, along with The Third Road and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, all on Amazon.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center
Let me know your thoughts on inner child on my contact page.
The Healing Power of Spirituality for Addictions - Rachel Devine
Addictions afflict millions of people, trapping them in destructive cycles with substances like alcohol, drugs, or behaviors like gambling. Food addiction, specifically in the form of compulsive overeating, binge eating, and eating disorders, is rising rapidly.
The good news is that spirituality and spiritual practices have shown promising benefits for alleviating addictions through connecting to something higher than momentary impulses. Spirituality can help transform your life to one of purpose and freedom from addictions.
Addictions afflict millions of people, trapping them in destructive cycles with substances like alcohol, drugs, or behaviors like gambling. Food addiction, specifically in the form of compulsive overeating, binge eating, and eating disorders, is rising rapidly.
The good news is that spirituality and spiritual practices have shown promising benefits for alleviating addictions through connecting to something higher than momentary impulses. Spirituality can help transform your life to one of purpose and freedom from addictions.
The Spiritual Dimension of Addictions
Research has uncovered that addictions often serve to temporarily fill an inner void or provide an escape. As psychology professor Dr. Philip Monroe states, “Addictions start with pain relief but end up causing more pain.” Underneath addictive patterns, there is often spiritual starvation or a longing for purpose and meaning in life.
By nurturing our spiritual needs, we can reduce the risk of harmful addictive behaviors taking root. Spirituality helps satisfy our core human need for inner fulfillment, beyond what any substance or activity can provide.
Inner Child Factor
To go one step deeper, the inner child factor plays a role in addictions. When we don’t get our inner child needs met, we have a a void within as mentioned previously. Some of us fill this void with various addictive substances, including food, drugs, or alcohol. Some fill the void by overworking, gambling or other obsessive behaviors. Filling your own needs with self-love, affirmations, self-care, are all ways to fill the void within with positive energy. This is part of inner child healing. Connecting to your higher power, whom I call God, can also help you fill the inner void.
Benefits of Spiritual Practices
Here are some of the top researched benefits that different spiritual practices offer for healing from addictions:
Meditation and Mindfulness: Meditation helps us connect to inner stillness beneath addictive impulses. One study found that a meditation program reduced alcohol and drug use by 60% in people. Mindfulness also minimizes stress and emotional turmoil that can trigger relapses.
Gratitude: Focusing on blessings counters the scarcity mindsets underlying addiction. People with gratitude journaling practices have been found to be up to 35% less likely to engage in substance abuse. Gratitude practice has a myriad of emotional, as well as physical benefits.
Self-Reflection: Prayer, journaling, or therapy sessions that explore the emotional roots and meaning behind addictions foster self-understanding. This self-insight cultivates compassion and helps align behaviors with values.
Sense of Purpose: Rediscovering a sense of meaning and purpose in life motivates positive change. Volunteer work, acts of service, or exploring passions boost this sense of meaning. One study found that a purpose-centered program successfully prevented alcohol addiction relapse.
Support Groups: 12-step programs and support groups provide a caring community and inspiration to persevere. Feeling understood by others with similar struggles helps mitigate the shame and isolation that feed addictions. Dr. Wayne Dyer, a renowned author of spiritual books said, “The success of 12-step programs lie in the fact that they help one connect to their higher power where there is strength to overcome addictions.”
Continued Commitment to Growth
While spiritual practices cultivate inner fullness and serenity, addictions can be cunning, trying to trick their way back in during moments of weakness. Being committed to personal and spiritual growth, one day at a time, is essential. Continuing on the path of recovery, with some or all of the suggestions will give you strength to overcome the addiction. Remember, there is strength and courage in numbers. 12-step programs is a great fellowship of people who will be supportive.
In closing, the path to overcoming addiction has its ups and downs, but by nurturing our spiritual dimension, we can find the light that guides us through the darkness. This very light brings us through dark times and emerges into the light of hope. Our essential healing waits below the surface of the light, ready to emerge as we open our hearts and connect to life’s deeper meaning.
Rachel Devine is the author of her new inner child book Discover the Power of the Secret Within, along with The Third Road and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, all on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center
The Gift that Keeps on Giving: Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Rachel Devine
The holidays are fast approaching, with the start of Hannuka already here and Christmas only a few weeks away, the mindset is on gift-giving. What better gift than the gift of empowerment. A book is not only a perfect gift, but a gift of knowledge and sometimes enlightenment. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Let’s look at this a little deeper.
My new book is called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within. With all of the millions of books you can choose from, you might ask yourself, why this book? And the answer may surprise you.
So, let’s peer into a window that explains what my book is all about.
The holidays are fast approaching, with the start of Hanukkah already here and Christmas only a few weeks away, the mindset is on gift-giving. What better gift than the gift of empowerment. A book is not only a perfect gift, but a gift of knowledge and sometimes enlightenment. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Let’s look at this a little deeper.
My new book is called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within. With all of the millions of books you can choose from, you might ask yourself, why this book? And the answer may surprise you.
So, let’s peer into a window that explains what my book is all about.
This book is about creating yourself anew. It is about discovering the power of the secret within, which is elusive and mysterious. The power within you is a well-kept secret. Most people will not learn about it in their lifetime. It has positively transformed millions of lives. Those who discover the power of the secret within will be richer than any successful billionaire in the world.
So let me ask you these questions. Do you have long-forgotten dreams that you want to make a reality? Do you want to lose weight, start a business, find your soulmate, get a promotion, get healthy, or end an addiction? Well, now is the time to move forward and make your dreams a reality. Make no mistake about it; you have this miraculous power within you to create your destiny.
However, there can be blocks to realizing your dreams. There is another power called the subconscious mind that is in charge of almost every decision, every move, and every thought you make in life. Most people have no idea why they have a chip on their shoulder, why they keep meeting the same type of dysfunctional romantic partner, why they have issues at work, or why they have deep-rooted resentments, and the answer lies within.
Your inner child is part of the power of your subconscious mind, which has been picking up messages way before it was able to fully process what was going on. The subconscious mind holds most of your emotions, memories, experiences, traumas, and beliefs from the past. This dual force—the subconscious mind and inner child—drives your life 95% of the time! This is an incredible revelation that I explore in one of the chapters.
Do you ever wonder why losing a pet can be more devastating than losing a family member. There is a reason for this. I also link inner child experiences with grief, especially the grief of losing a pet. I found fascinating information that is incredibly revealing regarding pet grief.
There is also a link between our inner child and who we connect with in the dating world. Did you ever wonder why you keep meeting dysfunctional people or those you don’t connect with in the dating world? Or perhaps you wonder why are single your whole life. I put clarity in that area in one of my chapters. Once you can see a pattern in what is going on with the negativity in your dating life, you will be able to resolve any issues that are keeping you from connecting with a healthy partner.
This is just a small window into my book that reveals a world of clarity, hope, and empowerment.
You have a choice: continue your life as it is or empower yourself with proven, sure-fire techniques to unlock the secret within. Let us move forward together on this exciting journey into the depths of your inner world as we move on a positive and direct pathway towards discovering the power of the secret within to heal your inner child and manifest your dreams into reality.
Rachel Devine is the author of Discover the Power of the Secret Within, along with The Third Road and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, all on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center
7 Ways to Holistically Deal with Depression - Rachel Devine
Depression can be overwhelming. It could feel like you have to climb a mountain just to take a shower or get dressed. Something within always seems to be pressing against the norm. It might feel like there is a cloud always hovering over. When you feel this way, it’s time to start looking within to see what is happening on the outside. And there are holistic ways to feel better.
Alongside professional treatment, certain lifestyle adjustments and holistic self-care practices can help mitigate depressive symptoms gently yet effectively. Here are 7 research-backed ways to deal with depression holistically:
Depression can be overwhelming. It could feel like you have to climb a mountain just to take a shower or get dressed. Something within always seems to be pressing against the norm. It might feel like there is a cloud always hovering over. When you feel this way, it’s time to start looking within to see what is happening on the outside. And there are holistic ways to feel better.
Alongside professional treatment, certain lifestyle adjustments and holistic self-care practices can help mitigate depressive symptoms gently yet effectively. Here are 7 research-backed ways to deal with depression holistically:
Increase Omega-3s
Studies confirm insufficient essential fatty acids, including anti-inflammatory omega-3s, correlate to higher rates of depression. Supplementing daily with quality fish oil, hemp oil, or flax oil nourishes neurotransmitter development tied to mood.
A 2019 meta-analysis of 41 trials showed a clear reduction in depression severity among those supplementing with omega-3 fish oils over those taking placebos. The holistic change to add fish oil to your diet will lift low moods.
Embrace Gratitude
Cultivating daily gratitude through routines like gratitude journaling literally changes brain physiology. MRI scans reveal improved connectivity in gratitude neural pathways. Appreciating blessings also combats the negativity bias underpinning depression. Count your blessings and your life will be happier.
According to a 2021 study of 200 clinically depressed participants, daily gratitude journaling for just 3 weeks reduced depressive symptoms significantly. Staying in gratitude will lift your mood.
Light Therapy
Exposing eyes and skin to bright artificial light that mimics natural sunlight actually modifies melatonin and serotonin light-sensitive pathways. Poor daylight exposure exacerbates seasonal affective disorder and depression.
A meta-analysis of 18 studies confirmed that both seasonal and non-seasonal depression responds to daily light box therapy. Just 30–60 minutes benefited the mood of 70% of participants.
Adopt anti-inflammatory diets
Chronic inflammation and gut microbiome imbalances correlate strongly with depression. An anti-inflammatory diet emphasizing plant foods rich in polyphenols while reducing inflammatory sugars, refined carbs, and fried foods tames systemwide inflammatory pathways.
Research finds the Mediterranean diet, with an emphasis on fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and seafood, effectively improves mental health.
Optimize Vitamin D
Some studies link vitamin D deficiency to an increased risk for depression symptoms such as sadness and anxiety. Vitamin D modulates hormones and neurotransmitters, influencing mood regulation. Much evidence links low vitamin D stores with seasonal depression as we get less sun exposure.
Getting your vitamin D levels tested and supplementing accordingly under medical guidance is advisable, especially during the darker winter months. Vitamin D also stabilizes mood disorders like bipolar depression.
Negative thoughts
Negative thoughts can exasperate depression. It’s not easy to be positive when depressed, but it's worth the effort. Try hard to change negative thoughts into positive ones. When things seem dreadful, ask yourself: Is it really that bad, or are your thoughts and fears magnifying your depression? Try saying some positive affirmations out loud several times a day.
Inner child healing
Finally, addressing unresolved childhood wounds through inner child work can also lift depression rooted in past traumas, attachment wounds, and mistaken core beliefs like worthlessness or defectiveness. These past emotional wounds get embedded in the subconscious. Techniques like dialoguing, visualizations aimed at reparenting your inner child's unmet needs for unconditional love and safety, releasing trapped emotions from painful memories, and replacing negative self-talk stemming from childhood with self-compassion will help transform depressive mind loops fueled by the wounded inner child. As these subconscious burdens dissolve through conscious processing, inner children feel seen and nurtured, freeing us to value our worth. Increased self-acceptance and integration of letting go of the past lead to wholeness, increased functionality, and brighter perspectives characteristic of holistic depression recovery.
The key point is that depression often links to oppressive inner critic voices, perfectionism, low self-worth, self-isolation, and hopelessness stemming from childhood maltreatment, emotional absence or even grief. By directly healing these past wounds through inner child healing techniques, we target the root psychological and subconscious drivers of depression for deep transformation rather than just symptom management.
While working with doctors to manage diagnosed clinical depression is vital, certain holistic self-care techniques outlined will empower you as a partner in sustaining long-term therapeutic benefits through your daily lifestyle change. Every small positive choice counts towards inner healing from depression.
If you need it, please call 988 suicide and crisis line. Your life is worth it!
More information on depression on Drugwatch.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within: Healing Your Inner Child to Manifest Your Dreams, is on Amazon now and will help you come to terms with the wounded inner child.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center
Ways to Recognize when your Inner Child Sabotages your Relationships-Rachel Devine
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you.
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic relationships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of, which can destroy a relationship. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you. And make no mistake about it, we all have an inner child that causes havoc from time to time. Furthermore, those who are just ‘unlucky in love,’ might see a pattern from childhood to adult relationships that explains this dilemma. If you are dating and meeting the same type of dysfunctional person, with a different face, it’s time to look at the inner child. Awareness is the key to solving any issue. Let’s explore all of this together.
Defining the Inner Child
According to psychology pioneer Carl Jung, the inner child represents our instincts, vulnerabilities, feelings, and unmet needs from childhood. John Bradshaw, an expert in the inner child and author of Homecoming, further defines it as “the accumulation of all unmet childhood needs and wants that make up the childhood energies still expressing themselves in our adult lives.” John Bradshaw was an advocate for reparenting our inner child.
This inner child dwells in the subconscious mind, influencing behaviors independent of adult awareness. Our reactions to romantic partners frequently reflect the inner child’s projections. To be clear, the subconscious mind is like a vast memory bank holding all of our past traumas, experiences, and feelings from our inner child. During times of stress or triggers, the subconscious mind or inner child lashes out in very unexpected ways that are often unexplainable.
Inner Child Dynamics
The inner child dynamics are not complicated. There are 4 stages of infancy development. Let’s look at these stages:
The first stage is the infancy stage. This is the co-dependent stage from 0 to 2 years old, where we are completely dependent on our parents for survival. This is the stage where we need a lot of care, nurturing, and love. It’s a time in our lives when we depend solely on our parents for survival.
The preschool age from 2 to 4 years old is the stage of counter-dependence. This stage is often referred to as “the terrible twos.” This is a time when the child wants and needs to assert their ability to interact with their environment. The child is gaining his or her autonomy through co-dependence.
From 4 to 7 years old, there is the independence stage. At this time, a child is becoming independent and doesn’t need his or her parents to do everything, and the child becomes more independent of them.
At seven years old, the child is at an inter-dependence stage of being, which is much more independent from their parents than previous years, and pretty much can do most things for themselves.
All these developmental stages are a crucial time in a child’s life, and if a child does not get their fundamental needs met, there will be issues that develop later on in adulthood.
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old in our family of origin will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. These imprints will determine who we connect with as a partner. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious needs. This imprint from childhood is what we subconsciously navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. This is why it’s important to understand that we attract what we are resonating with. Additionally, this is the reason why most people marry a clone of their mother or father!
Recognizing Inner Child Havoc
Some signs your inner child is sabotaging your relationships include the following. These are all reactions to triggers, which would be a stimulus that elicits a reaction stemming from a negative childhood experience.
Extreme defensiveness or mistrust of your partner’s intentions
Severe jealousy about harmless interactions
Constant need for validation and reassurance
Major mood swings or emotional sensitivity
Fear of enmeshment or losing yourself
Panic when feeling alone or abandoned
Difficulty with true intimacy and vulnerability
Inability to keep a healthy relationship
Extreme anger issues or fears
John Bradshaw explains: “The wounded inner child inside many people can destroy loving relationships. Your childhood wounds affect your relationships.” These wounds stem from the inner child’s neediness. This is due to not getting your fundamental needs met as a child, from infant to 7 years old. It is a good idea to explore this time in your life and what transpired. The patterns in our family of origin are usually what we bring into our relationships, friendships and work environment.
Healing your inner child
To short-circuit destructive inner child responses, self-awareness of the triggers through mindful observations of your emotions and reactions is key. The first step is to be aware of the problem and not ignore it. Then intentionally reframe your self-talk. It’s hard to do this in the heat of the moment, but reflecting back on the conflict you had with your partner is key to awareness because you can look at it during a calm time and adjust your actions in the future.
As an example, if abandonment wounds cause you to interpret your partner’s business trip as intentional neglect, remind yourself, “This is my inner child projecting past fears of abandonment. My partner loves me and is coming back.” Recognizing a pattern from childhood that correlates with the adult situation is the first step to healing.
For instance, if your father was working all the time when you were a child, you may have developed fears of abandonment, so your partner going on a business trip could trigger these painful feelings from childhood. Remember, all of your traumas and experiences are locked away in your subconscious mind and will get triggered when stressful events happen that jolt those inner child feelings. When you identify a pattern, you can go back to the time of the trauma from childhood and comfort and love your inner child in a meditation. John Bradshaw boldly suggests we go back to your childhood home and visualize your inner child in pain and comfort him or her. It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
Self-love
Self-love is crucial to having a healthy inner child. Cultivating secure relationships also involves reprogramming core relationship beliefs in your subconscious mind—for example, that you are worthy and loveable. Visualization, affirmations, and therapy can help instill self-reliance, regardless of your partner’s proximity or validation. It all starts with a firm, loving foundation in your relationship with yourself. Healing the inner child is crucial, and so is this inner child work. You have to be the one who is strong in your own skin, and it’s important to develop a good-loving, secure relationship with yourself. You can do this with daily affirmations and visuals of being strong alone, so when you are alone, your subconscious will draw on the visualization. I used to do a meditation where I would sit on my higher power’s lap as a child. In my case, I proudly call my higher power God. In this meditation, God would instill in me that I am worthy and loved, and I can never be abandoned because His spirit dwells within me. Of course, you have to use the higher power of your choice. Just imagine your higher power telling you how valued and loved you are, and give you assurance that you can never be abandoned.
Positive Affirmations
These positive affirmations are a good start to changing the negative subconscious to a positive one:
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
I am secure in my own skin.
I am at peace.
I am a child of God.
The more compassion, understanding, love, and stability you extend to your inner child directly, the less it will act up unconsciously in your relationships. It is like reparenting yourself with much love. You deserve that peace and stability. Using positive affirmations daily is a good start.
In closing, the inner child is a multifaceted issue and really does demand your attention. It is important to explore your inner child, who is very real and a very big part of your life, and try to see the patterns of self-sabotage when they happen. It will help your relationship become happier. Remember, awareness is the key to overcoming any obstacles in life. Having a loving relationship with yourself is the single most important thing you can do to heal the inner child.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams, is on Amazon now.
What is your Inner Child? Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Rachel Devine
You might ask yourself, what exactly is the Inner Child and how does it affect me? I will explain all you need to know about what the inner child is and how it affects you in this article. I will use an important excerpt from my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams!
The dynamics of our inner world are pretty intense. However, as I open up the nucleus of the inner child you will see how easy it really is to comprehend.
I will start from the beginning. What transpired in our childhood determines how we develop as adults. Some of the things that transpired in childhood will plague you as an adult with things like alcoholism, drug or food addictions, anger issues, intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, commitment issues, claustrophobia, sexual disorders, continuous relationship failures, workaholism, paranoid tendencies, narcissism, fears, etc. These issues get embedded in the inner child’s psyche and carries into adulthood. This all stems from the roots that took place with the inner child and what went on in your early childhood.
You might ask yourself, what exactly is the Inner Child and how does it affect me? I will explain all you need to know about what the inner child is and how it affects you in this article. I will use an important excerpt from my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams!
The dynamics of our inner world are pretty intense. However, as I open up the nucleus of the inner child you will see how easy it really is to comprehend.
I will start from the beginning. What transpired in our childhood determines how we develop as adults. Some of the things that transpired in childhood will plague you as an adult with things like alcoholism, drug or food addictions, anger issues, intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, commitment issues, claustrophobia, sexual disorders, continuous relationship failures, workaholism, paranoid tendencies, narcissism, fears, etc. These issues get embedded in the inner child’s psyche and carries into adulthood. This all stems from the roots that took place with the inner child and what went on in your early childhood.
Inner Child Definition:
So, what does it mean when I refer to the “Inner Child”?
The inner child is our feelings, energies, needs, vulnerabilities, experiences, our neurological imprint. Simply put, the inner child is part of your personality that still feels and acts like a child.
The inner child that developed in each of our individual childhoods is what navigates our subconscious mind and drives our decisions in life, without realizing it. The subconscious mind holds all your experiences, traumas, and family interactions. The subconscious mind is the navigator of most of your life and is very powerful. In fact, the subconscious mind is in charge of 95% of your life, that includes your actions, decisions, and pretty much all that you do in a day.
When we struggle to move forward in life, or to get out of a bad relationship, or we struggle to start a love relationship, or we cower down in arguments, all of these decisions are coming from the subconscious mind of the inner child. That imprint that was embedded in our mind at different developmental stages is ingrained in our subconscious mind and our adult intellect tries to reason with certain decisions we make, but usually will lose out to the fear or insecurity of the inner child. And most people are oblivious to this conflict that is going on within them and have no clue as to why they make certain decisions that are unhealthy for them. Make no mistake about it, when I say, “subconscious mind,” it means we are totally oblivious to what is happening in that part of our psyches.
Stages of the Inner Child
Let’s look at this in stages. There are four important developmental stages of the inner child.
The first one is the infancy stage. This is the co-dependent stage from 0 to 2 years old where we are completely dependent on our parents for survival. This is the stage where we need a lot of care, nurturing, and love. It’s a time in our lives that we depend solely on our parents for survival.
The preschool age from 2 to 4 years old is the stage of counter-dependence. This stage is often referred to as “the terrible twos.” This is a time when the child wants and needs to assert their ability to interact with their environment. The child is gaining his or her autonomy from co-dependence.
From 4 to 7 years old, is the independence stage. At this time, a child is becoming independent and doesn’t need his or her parents to do everything, and the child becomes more independent of them.
At seven years old the child is at an inter-dependence stage of being, which is much more independent from their parents than previous years, and pretty much can do most things for themselves.
All these developmental stages are a crucial time in a child’s life, and if a child does not get their fundamental needs met, there will be issues that develop later on in adulthood.
Inner Child Relationships
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious thoughts. This imprint from childhood is what we navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. If you are wondering why you are having a hard time finding the right partner, look no further than your inner child for the answer. You can improve your love-life with some knowledge about the inner child, that will help you navigate the dating world successfully.
Example of Inner Child Tantrum:
It is important to understand the dynamics of the inner child with an example:
I will never forget this incident, which is an example of fears of abandonment from childhood. These fears develop when we don’t get our fundamental needs met, or we are emotionally abandoned by our parents because of their own dysfunctions.
I was walking my dog, Luke, at the time, and there was a white SUV stopped at the corner for the stop sign. The window was open and I could hear this man screaming at someone on the phone saying:
“You are never home, we don’t eat together anymore, you don’t cook, you are such a witch” (although he used the b word), and he was berating her.
I am sure the more he yelled and became angry the more she retreated and wanted to stay away from him. It was a vicious circle. And I thought to myself, all he wants to say to her is that he is lonely and feels abandoned and would like to spend more time with her. But I suspect his inner child, feeling hurt and being triggered by her pulling away, is setting off his fear of abandonment issues, so he is lashing out with intense anger, reverting to the way he behaved as a child. He was trying to get his needs met and she was pulling away, so his anger became out of control. The fear of abandonment starts with fear and morphs into intense anger.
This is just another example of how the inner child wreaks havoc in our relationships and is in charge and very powerful. It dictates how we behave in certain circumstances. It controls us in a way that we are totally oblivious to. It subconsciously navigates our entire life. This man screaming at his partner is just labeled as temperamental and he had no clue that what took root in childhood determines his temperament as an adult.
Another Inner Child example
I think most of us can relate to this example of road rage. When someone cuts me off on the road, I go from fear to anger in an instant. The reason is because fear from childhood rears its ugly head and the person who cut me off has triggered that fear, which usually instantly morphs to anger. I find myself sitting in my car ranting and raving about almost having an accident and in that moment my inner child is dictating my angry words and actions.
In closing, I want to say that there are ways to reprogram the subconscious mind and change the negative imprint of the inner child. You also have the power to manifest your goals and dreams with this process of reprogramming. Get a copy of my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within and learn the secret within that will transform your life!
Rachel Devine is the author of Discover the Power of the Secret Within, a book about the inner child and subconscious mind, The Third Road, a book that gently guides one to the power within and their purpose in life, and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, a spiritual book on dating and relationships. All are on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - The Healing Center website.
Please leave your ideas in the comments. Or please also feel free to contact me. I will answer all emails
How to Heal your Inner Child: 7 Step Guide Rachel Devine
The inner child, carrying emotional scars and false beliefs from childhood, drives many of our adult behaviors unconsciously. By learning to identify, listen to, and re-parent your inner child, you can heal past wounds for greater well-being. Make no mistake about it; I truly believe we all have inner child wounds that erupt during stressful, angry times in our lives. No one is immune from the terror of the inner child. The astonishing fact is that most of us are totally oblivious to the pandora’s box of horrors that resides within each and every one of us. Of course, there are different degrees of inner child fury; som
The inner child, carrying emotional scars and false beliefs from childhood, drives many of our adult behaviors unconsciously. By learning to identify, listen to, and re-parent your inner child, you can heal past wounds for greater well-being. Make no mistake about it; I truly believe we all have inner child wounds that erupt during stressful, angry times in our lives. No one is immune from the terror of the inner child. The astonishing fact is that most of us are totally oblivious to the pandora’s box of horrors that resides within each and every one of us. Of course, there are different degrees of inner child fury; some are more intense than others. Let’s explore this inner child healing in more detail.
Dynamics of the Inner Child
The dynamics of our inner world are pretty intense. However, as I open up the nucleus of the inner child, you will see how easy it really is to comprehend.
What transpired in our childhood determines how we develop as adults. Some of the things that transpired in childhood will plague you as an adult with things like alcoholism, drug or food addictions, anger issues, intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, commitment issues, sexual disorders, continuous relationship failures, narcissism, fears, etc. These issues get embedded in the inner child’s psyche and carry into adulthood. This all stems from the roots that took place with the inner child and what went on in your early childhood.
So, what does it mean when I refer to the “inner child"?
The inner child is our feelings, energies, needs, vulnerabilities, experiences, and neurological imprint on our subconscious. Simply put, the inner child is part of your personality that still feels and acts like a child.
Impact of the Inner Child
“I believe that this neglected, wounded inner child of the past is the major source of human misery." John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw was a brilliant author of the inner child and extremely popular back in the 90s with his incredible book, Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.
John knew the dynamics of the inner child because he lived it in his own childhood. The impact of the inner child is a lifetime battle, and it takes some work to get past the dysfunction. The impact can be devastating in love relationships, careers, family interactions, etc. The impact of the inner child can also become intense with adult addictions. Most of us have a void within that was not filled in childhood with love, nurturing, and security. Some of us try to fill that void with food, alcohol, drugs, etc. Some also try to numb the pain of past trauma with an addiction. This is something to be aware of in order to heal.The inner child can also cause havoc in relationships and family life. Sometimes stress can trigger events from the past of anger and fear, and a normal argument can turn into a bloody war because the inner child's pain from the past is erupting in the present.
Connecting to the Inner Child
According to psychology expert John Bradshaw, “The inner child must be welcomed, embraced, for better or for worse.” Begin communicating through journaling, recording dialogues, or meditations. Let your inner child express its pains and needs to you. The first step to healing is awareness. Become aware of this inner child that is longing for reparenting.
Bradshaw advised: “Do your best to provide the child within you what your parents couldn’t provide.” Offer soothing words, forgiveness, encouragement, and unconditional support to your inner child when it shares its hurt. Visualize cradling and nurturing your inner child.
You can also meditate on being with your inner child. John Bradshaw boldly asks us to go back to our childhood home. You can do that in a meditation and embrace your inner child with love and comfort.
Inner child therapy
Therapy is the key to healing the inner child. Brainspotting is a technique that helps clear the subcortical brain, where the trauma or past experiences live, so healing can begin. There are lawyers of embedded past experiences in the subcortical brain that is part of the subconscious mind. Therapy is a way to clear this one layer at a time. Therapy can also give you a place to talk about your inner child and be in the presence of a professional therapist who can guide you in the right direction of healing.
Subconscious mind
The subconscious mind holds all our past experiences, traumas, and feelings. We are not conscious of what is going on there, but this is where the inner child's feelings live. This is the trigger point during stressful times that unleashes the inner child fury. There are other ways to clear some negative experiences from the past and also fill the void within. The more you can clear your subconscious of past hurts, negativity, anger, and fears, the more your life will move in a positive direction. Feeding your subconscious positive affirmations also helps.
Clearing the subconscious
One way to help clear some negativity from the subconscious is through positive affirmations. Saying them often will offset the negativity from the past. Just say some positive affirmations over and over again in your day. A few examples are that I am loved, I am successful, I am beautiful, or I am happy. Visualization is another way to impact the subconscious, and the most powerful time is at bedtime because you are going from a subconscious to an unconscious state, which is powerful for penetrating the subconscious. Visualize one image of what you want to heal in your subconscious. Let’s say you are addicted to food or alcohol. You would put one image in your head of being free from alcohol, or if you want to lose weight, an image of you being slim and healthy. Fall asleep with the feeling of well-being and feeling healthy, happy, and loved. This visualization will leave positive imprints on your subconscious mind. Do this for at least 30 days and see if you feel better and stronger. You can do this with anger issues or fear. Just use the opposite positive emotion, see the image in your head, and fall asleep with positive thoughts. For instance if you want to get rid of anger, see yourself in an image of being calm, kind, loving, and peaceful. If you want to get rid of fears, see yourself feeling loved, courageous, in the loving arms of your higher power, whom I call God. Being in the presence of God will help you feel less fear, because love and fear cannot reside together and God is love.
Cultivate Self-Love
Lack of parental love creates inner emptiness. Now consciously shower yourself with self-love and positive affirmations. Build the unconditional self-love your inner child craves. Cultivating inner love for yourself is a very positive way to heal the inner child. Too often, we resonate with negative thoughts about ourselves that actually come from our childhood. Change those self-defeating thoughts to ones of love. Self-care is also crucial, so do good things for yourself daily, or at least a couple of times a week. I suggest you get a picture of yourself as a child and put that picture where you can see it and tell yourself every day, “I love you.”
John Bradshaw described inner child work as: “Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself.” Extending compassion and care inward dissolves old wounds, so your healthiest self can shine through.
In closing, remember that you have the power to change your inner world into one of joy. You have the power to regenerate yourself with nurturing, love, and compassion. If you start to do inner child work, you will see that your relationship with family and friends will improve. However, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself, and when that improves, your whole world becomes a better place to be.
Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack and has a new book coming out soon, Discover the Power of the Secret Within, that explores the inner child and subconscious mind for healing.
Ways to Recognize when your Inner Child Sabotages Your Relationships - Rachel Devine
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you.
Our relationships are precious. The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you. Furthermore, those who are just ‘unlucky in love,’ or can’t meet the right partner, might come to see a pattern from childhood to adult relationships. Let’s explore all of this together.
Defining the Inner Child
According to psychology pioneer Carl Jung, the inner child represents our instincts, vulnerabilities, feelings, and unmet needs from childhood. John Bradshaw, an expert in the inner child and author of Homecoming, further defines it as “the accumulation of all unmet childhood needs and wants that make up the childhood energies still expressing themselves in our adult lives.” John Bradshaw was an advocate for reparenting our inner child.
This inner child dwells in the subconscious mind, influencing behaviors independent of adult awareness. Our reactions to romantic partners frequently reflect the inner child’s projections. To be clear, the subconscious mind is like a vast memory bank holding all of our past traumas, experiences, and feelings from our inner child. During times of stress or triggers, the subconscious mind, or inner child, lashes out in very unexpected ways that are often unexplainable.
Inner Child Dynamics
The inner child dynamics are not complicated. From birth to 7 years old is a crucial time a child has to get their needs met, and if they don't, they grow up to be needy adults.
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old in our family of origin will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. These imprints will determine who we connect with as a partner. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious needs. This imprint from childhood is what we subconsciously navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. This is why it’s important to understand that we attract what we are resonating with. Additionally, this is the reason why most people marry a clone of their mother or father! It’s another way to get our childhood needs met with a partner that resembles our parents.
Recognizing Inner Child Havoc
Some signs your inner child is sabotaging your relationships include the following: These are all reactions to triggers, which would be a stimulus that elicits a reaction stemming from a negative childhood experience.
Severe jealousy about harmless interactions
Constant need for validation and reassurance
Major mood swings or emotional sensitivity
Fear of enmeshment or losing yourself
Panic when feeling alone or abandoned
Difficulty with true intimacy and vulnerability
Inability to keep a healthy relationship
Extreme anger issues or fears
John Bradshaw explains: “The wounded inner child inside many people can destroy loving relationships. Your childhood wounds affect your relationships.” These wounds stem from the inner child’s neediness. To reiterate, this is due to not getting your fundamental needs met as a child, from infant to 7 years old. It is a good idea to explore this time in your life and what transpired. The patterns in our family of origin are usually what we bring into our relationships, friendships, and work environment.
Healing your inner child
To stop destructive inner child responses, self-awareness of the triggers through mindful observations of your emotions and reactions is key. The first step is to be aware of the problem and not ignore it. Then intentionally reframe your self-talk. It’s hard to do this in the heat of the moment, but reflecting back on the conflict you had with your partner is key to awareness because you can look at it during a calm time and adjust your actions in the future.
As an example, if abandonment wounds cause you to interpret your partner’s business trip as intentional neglect, remind yourself, “This is my inner child projecting past fears of abandonment. My partner loves me and is coming back.” Recognizing a pattern from childhood that correlates with the adult situation is the first step to healing.
For instance, if your father was working all the time when you were a child, you may have developed fears of abandonment, so your partner going on a business trip could trigger these painful feelings from childhood. Remember, all of your traumas and experiences are locked away in your subconscious mind and will get triggered when stressful events happen that jolt those inner child feelings. When you identify a pattern, you can go back to the time of the trauma from childhood and comfort and love your inner child in a meditation. John Bradshaw boldly suggests we go back to your childhood home, visualize your inner child in pain, and comfort him or her. It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
If you are dating and can’t meet a compatible partner, it’s really time to look at the patterns from childhood, how you learned to love, and how that correlates with your adult relationships. The answers lie with the inner child dilemma.
Self-love
Self-love is crucial to having a healthy inner child. Cultivating secure relationships also involves reprogramming core relationship beliefs in your subconscious mind—for example, that you are worthy and loveable. Visualization, affirmations, and therapy can help instill self-reliance, regardless of your partner’s proximity or validation. It all starts with a firm, loving foundation in your relationship with yourself. Healing the inner child is crucial, and so is this inner child work. You have to be the one who is strong in your own skin, and it’s important to develop a good-loving, secure relationship with yourself. You can do this with daily affirmations and visuals of being strong alone, so when you are alone, your subconscious will draw on the visualization. Just visualize a positive feeling of safety and love.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are a good start to changing the negative subconscious into a positive one.
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
I am secure in my own skin.
I am at peace.
I am a child of God.
The more compassion, understanding, love, and stability you extend to your inner child directly, the less it will act up unconsciously in your relationships.
In closing, the inner child is a multifaceted issue and really does demand your attention. It is important to explore your inner child, who is very real and a big part of your life, and try to see the patterns of self-sabotage when they happen. It will help your relationship become happier. Remember, awareness is the key to overcoming any obstacles in life. Having a loving relationship with yourself is the single most important thing you can do to heal your inner child.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within: Healing Your Inner Child to Manifest Your Dreams, is on Amazon now.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center
Inner Child: A Pandora’s Box of Addictions! Rachel Devine
The inner child might sound like a far-fetched notion of a Freudian error from the past. It might conjure up pictures of your childhood—the good, the bad, and the ugly. However, the inner child is alive and well and dwells within each one of us. The inner child is in charge of steering our lives in one direction or another, depending on the emotions and experiences it was fed throughout your childhood. This revelation is enough to get anyone’s attention, as it is vital information on why your life is where it is today. The really crucial part of inner child dilemma is with addiction. If you tried to lose weight, stop smoking, drinking, or working long hours, and you can’t do it, it’s time to look at the inner child. Reparenting your inner child is key. Inner child healing is possible in order to curb addictions. Let’s explore this a little deeper.
The inner child might sound like a far-fetched notion of a Freudian error from the past. It might conjure up pictures of your childhood—the good, the bad, and the ugly. However, the inner child is alive and well and dwells within each one of us. The inner child is in charge of steering our lives in one direction or another, depending on the emotions and experiences it was fed throughout your childhood. This revelation is enough to get anyone’s attention, as it is vital information on why your life is where it is today. The really crucial part of inner child dilemma is with addiction. If you tried to lose weight, stop smoking, drinking, or working long hours, and you can’t do it, it’s time to look at the inner child. Reparenting your inner child is key. Inner child healing is possible in order to curb addictions. Let’s explore this a little deeper.
Inner child definition
The inner child is our feelings, energies, needs, vulnerabilities, experiences, and neurological imprint. Simply put, the inner child is part of your personality that still feels and acts like a child.
The inner child that develops in each of our individual childhoods is what navigates our subconscious mind and drives our decisions in life without our realizing it. The subconscious holds all your experiences, traumas, and family interactions. The subconscious mind is the navigator of most of your life and is very powerful. In fact, the subconscious mind is in charge of 95% of your life, which includes your actions, decisions, and pretty much all that you do in a day.
When we struggle to move forward in life, to get out of a bad relationship, to start a love relationship, or to break an addiction, all of these decisions are coming from the subconscious mind of the inner child. That imprint that was embedded in our mind at different developmental stages is ingrained in our subconscious, and our adult intellect tries to reason with certain decisions we make but usually loses out to the fear or insecurity of the inner child. And most people are oblivious to this conflict that is going on within them and have no clue as to why they make certain decisions that are unhealthy for them. Make no mistake about it, when I say “subconscious mind,” it means we are totally oblivious to what is happening in that part of our psyches.
The wounded inner child
The dilemma ensues when our childhood was dysfunctional with things like alcoholism, drug addiction, abusive parents, etc. All of us have some degree of dysfunction from childhood; it is a matter of degrees. The inner child develops during the infant to 7-year-old stage. If you didn’t get your fundamental needs met at that stage, you would grow up to be a needy adult and perhaps fill that inner void with addictions such as alcohol, food, people, work, drugs, shopping, etc. This addictive behavior is to offset the void and also keep one in a numb state of having to feel our feelings. The wounded inner child wants to heal from the past. Inner child work is necessary to curb addictions.
Struggles with addiction
Most people struggle with addiction because, at the root of the problem, there is this feeling of emptiness within. I truly believe that if we fill that void with something healthy, it will help release the addiction. For instance, one can fill that void with exercise. Exercise induces endorphins, which make one feel good. When I tried to stop smoking, it was much easier when I exercised. Or you can fill the void with your own self-love. Loving yourself and parenting yourself can turn your whole world around for the better. Or you can fill that void with your Higher Power. The reason 12 step programs are so successful is because it reconnects one to their Higher Power. Being the parent of your inner child is key to releasing some of the hurt from the past. Parenting yourself is crucial to healing.
When you learn how to re-parent yourself, you will stop attempting to complete the past by setting up others to be your parents.”
― John Bradshaw, Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child
Healing for the inner child
Once you can start to heal your inner child, the addictions will be more manageable. So, how do you heal the inner child? The first step would be to impress positive feelings into the subconscious mind. Remember, the subconscious mind drives your life 95% of the time. It makes sense to feed it positive feelings to offset the negativity from the past. The time to do that is just before you fall asleep at night. As you go from a subconscious to an unconscious state of sleeping, that is the most powerful time to feed the subconscious positive thoughts.
Make no mistake about it. Some of us are addicted to food, especially carbs and sugar. So, let’s say you want to lose weight. You will think about one image of yourself as slim, as if you already lost the weight, and fall asleep with that image in your head and with the feelings of how it would feel to be slim. You would feel healthy, happy, secure, etc. Those feelings will get into your subconscious mind and drive your life in the direction of losing weight.
Your story
In order to tame any addiction, your story has to align with the direction you want to go.
Here is an example of a negative story:
I have done everything, and I can’t lose weight.
What if we changed this story to a positive one?
I am willing to do anything to lose weight!
Your story must align with a positive light in the direction you want your life to go. Whether that is in business, healing, or anything you want to achieve in life.
Affirmations
Affirmations are phrases that are positive. Saying them out loud on a daily basis, consistently, will penetrate the subconscious mind. Whatever you say after the words “I am” is crucial to your inner child.
Some positive “I am” affirmations are:
I am loved.
I am beautiful.
I am successful.
I am happy.
I am a child of God.
Visualization
If you recall a time in your life when you were alone with some pain from childhood, you can change the feelings around. We all have them. Even being left out of a party can be traumatic for a little child. Just visualize that time in your life as a child and put yourself in that time frame in your visualization as an adult. Now you have a chance to comfort your inner child with words of kindness, love, and assurance. You can even give your inner child a hug. Going back to the hard times of your childhood and being a parent can heal one layer of many that would need healing. The more you do it, the more healing you will have.
In closing, it is crucial to connect with your inner child and start the healing process. You don’t want to live life in an oblivious state of not understanding the inner child factor. We all have hidden negative experiences from our childhood that cause havoc in our present world. Reparenting your inner child, with love, comfort and security is the most loving form of self-care. It will foster inner child healing and peace in your adult life. You have a choice, will you take this awareness to heart, or walk away to the same routine as yesterday.
Rachel Devine is the author of The Third Road and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, both on Amazon. My new book on the inner child and the subconscious mind will be out very soon.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center website
How to Heal your Inner Child: Awareness is key - Rachel Devine
Do you have long-forgotten dreams that you want to make a reality? Do you want to lose weight, start a business, find your soulmate, or get a promotion? Well, now is the time to move forward and make your dreams a reality. Make no mistake about it; you have this miraculous power within you to create your destiny.
However, there can be blocks to realizing your dreams. There is another power called the subconscious mind that is in charge of every decision, every move, and every thought you make in life. Most people have no idea why they have a chip on their shoulder, why they keep meeting the same type of dysfunctional romantic partner, why they have issues at work, or why they have deep-rooted resentments, and the answer lies within. Discovering this aspect of yourself with awareness will empower you to transform your life in a positive way.
Do you have long-forgotten dreams that you want to make a reality? Do you want to lose weight, start a business, find your soulmate, or get a promotion? Well, now is the time to move forward and make your dreams a reality. Make no mistake about it; you have this miraculous power within you to create your destiny.
However, there can be blocks to realizing your dreams. There is another power called the subconscious mind that is in charge of every decision, every move, and every thought you make in life. Most people have no idea why they have a chip on their shoulder, why they keep meeting the same type of dysfunctional romantic partner, why they have issues at work, or why they have deep-rooted resentments, and the answer lies within. Discovering this aspect of yourself with awareness will empower you to transform your life in a positive way.
Inner Child
Your inner child is your feelings, traumas, and anger that are part of the power of your subconscious mind, which has been picking up messages way before it was able to fully process what was going on (mentally and emotionally). Your inner child usually didn’t get their needs met as a baby, and this plays havoc in adulthood in so many ways.
Subconscious mind
The subconscious mind holds all your emotions, memories, experiences, traumas, and beliefs from the past. This dual force, the subconscious mind and inner child, drives your life 95% of the time! This is an astounding fact, and yet most people have no idea what is going on inside. Therefore, your actions, 95% of the time, are driven by your subconscious mind. Just to bring this down to simple terms: When you get up each morning and, as a routine, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, and check your emails, this is all done by the subconscious mind. Most of your decisions are also dictated by your subconscious mind.
Healthy or unhealthy
The big question now is: Is your inner child healthy or unhealthy? If you didn’t get your primary needs met between the infant stage and 7 years old, then your subconscious mind is not well. This means you could have relationship, work, or family issues. Having this awareness and awakening the inner child is the first step to healing. Once you can recognize what transpired in childhood, you will start to see patterns in your adult decisions and experiences.
Healing
Healing is possible if you change some of the negativity of the subconscious mind to one of positivity. It stands to reason that if you had any trauma from the past, it will get imbedded in your subconscious mind as an imprint and will unleash itself at different times of trigger in your life.
As an example, you may have grown up with some abandonment issues from a parent who was not there for you during little league games and other important events in your life. You may not have gotten the love you deserved. The child becomes angry but usually can’t get in touch with the anger, so it gets repressed. It sits in the body and subconscious mind. Now, as an adult, this person drinks alcohol and becomes violent towards his partner because the repressed anger is unleashed during drunken episodes.
Solutions
It’s possible to heal the subconscious mind by getting therapy from an inner child expert who will help you get in touch with repressed anger. There are also fear issues that are imbedded in the subconscious in various forms. Again, a therapist can help with this as well. Also, listening to some videos that help replace fears with love or those that help release repressed anger can also help. However, one thing is very clear: if you have anger issues or fears, they usually stem from the inner child’s past experiences. Even clearing one issue can transform your life for the better.
Manifesting for healing
A gentle and easy way to heal from inner child wounds is manifestation. It is a way to clear the subconscious mind of anger or fears. Manifestation before you fall asleep is a power technique because the mind is at its most powerful just as you are falling asleep. What you feed it can change the subconscious mind because you are going from a conscious to an unconscious state when you are asleep. This is the most powerful time. Your mind has 8 hours to resonate with what you put in it. You want to feed it with feelings of love if you want to overcome hate or courage to overcome fear. Whatever the adult emotional problem, you want to offset it with the positive opposite emotion. Manifesting is powerful.
Just picture an image of the positive emotion you want to inject into your subconscious mind and fall asleep with the positive feelings of the emotion. If you want to invoke love into your subconscious mind, perhaps fall asleep to an image of a heart and resonate with loving feelings. It is a way to change one layer of the subconscious mind so you will be able to reach your life goals of losing weight, being successful, or having good relationships.
In closing, awareness is the key to helping you clear up some inner child issues that can be causing havoc in your adult life. Once you have the awareness, you have choices on healing, from a therapist to perhaps a life coach to manifesting techniques. I suggest you don’t just walk away from this awareness. Rather, embrace it and start healing your inner child today so you can live the life of your dreams.
Rachel Devine is the author of The Third Road and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, and she has a new book coming out very soon on the inner child.
Devine Intervention: The Inner Healing Center